Reply to DH sobered up, I'm contemplating an EA, advice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here - my DH just left for inpatient rehab this morning.  OP and PPs who have gone through the same experience - how have your DHs changed in sobriety, if you're willing to 
say?

I am very happy my DH is in rehab, but scared for the future, primarily of relapse but now after reading this even of sobriety (but it's good to know!).  I'm sure he will learn a lot there, and there is a family weekend involved, but post-rehab, what can I expect?  Any thoughts you have would be most appreciated, thanks![/quote]

One of the PPs whose DH did rehab... Try to keep lines of comminication open with him (once they allow it, anyway) and let him know you are on his side and want to help.  He will be learning things like what his triggers are, how to recognize them, early and what he needs to do to ward them off.  You should want to know this too and help him (my DH needs to get out every day, usually to gym) - but addicts are often selfish so you also have to not let him take advantage (like, 'I need to sleep so you will have to get up with the baby every time so I dont relapse' might go too far).

[b]Also learn the 12 steps or whatever the basis of his program is so you can talk about it.[/b]

I feel like I failed at being part of the treatment, and now I'm struggling to learn who my DH is - because he definitely isnt who he was for the last X years of drinking, and I can barely remember who he was before that.  It is a struggle.

Good luck, PP, and remember, one day at a time![/quote]

I have recommended this before and feel it is worth repeating. Al Anon. It is a program for those who have been affected by alcoholics and addicts. But, it can also help guide you when the alcoholic or addict is going through their time working on sobriety. In one of their readings is a phrase, ''changed attitudes can aid recovery'' and that is very true. But most importantly, you will find people that have walked, and are walking, the path you are on now.[/quote]

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