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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]As much as I am extremely heartbroken that I am in this situation, the alternative of cheating or divorce aren't appealing to me, not with my kids at this age. [/quote]

OP, you said the above. IOW, you're willing to go through the motions of having a marriage (not have precisely the perfect marriage you want) because you don't want the effect of a divorce on your kids and/or your relationship with them. So, you're willing to accept something less than ideal? Have you considered that your low libido wife knows that your married sex life is less than ideal, that she wishes her drive were higher, that she wishes you were happier, but that she does indeed love you enough that she will have sex with you (albeit, only sometimes) even when she doesn't want to, even offering quickies, even if only to try to make you happy, because being with you and loving you does make her happy? Yet, you now want to turn her down when she's trying because she isn't offering the ideal sex? [b]Can't you see that you would be doing the exact thing you're accusing her of currently doing, but somehow thinking you're better than she is? [/b]

It's not ideal, but if you really love her, maybe try to work on this together and take the long view of it being a process, not something that will be magically fixed by punishing her when she doesn't do things exactly the way you want. It sets her up to feel like she can't ever do it right for you.[/quote]

I always assumed that refusing the charity sex was doing my low libido DW a favor.  Would you really feel rejected if your high drive DH turned your offer for a BJ down when he knew you weren't in the mood?  You wouldn't feel relieved he wasn't bothering you for sex when you'd rather be relaxing?

Thanks for your interesting perspective.[/quote]

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