Reply to I'm jealous and angry my ex-husband's new wife is a better mother and wife than I am

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[quote=Anonymous]
OP, my husband could be you, except that he wouldn't feel guilty about any of his shortcomings! Men are given a pass more often.

I often feel resentful that DH doesn't step up and take better care of the house, the kids, me, him, etc. He has ADHD, and lives in a perpetual state of disorganization, tardiness and forgetfulness. He is also a brilliant scientist.

Perhaps you are temporarily depressed by the comparison between her accomplishments and your own. More importantly, since these problems are long standing, I suspect you have ADHD. It affects executive function, the ability to organize one's thoughts and actions. It also affects one's level of motivations, therefore one's energy and willingness to follow through. People with ADHD can be highly intelligent and accomplished in their chosen field, since they are also capable of inordinate focus and acumen in their area of interest. However everything else falls by the wayside - there just isn't enough dopamine to go around.

Think about it, OP. ADHD meds could be in order. However even if meds work for you, it won't mean that you will suddenly become an Earth Mother. You are you. You will just remember and be willing to do appointments, laundry, dinner, and all those things. Which is a pretty big deal already.

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