Reply to I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

The point I was trying to get across is that you can get STDs even when you are in a committed relationship.  And yes, my uncle was in a committed relationship as well; he is utterly devoted to my aunt. He just happens to be a sex addict.  And I suppose he probably has a virgin/whore complex. And yes, my aunt is not a virgin, but he definitely held her up on a pedestal and cheated on her with a lot of prostitutes and strippers.

The really tragic part is that he also squandered their money, and my aunt - who became a SAHM soon after the birth of her first child - had no clue until it was all gone.  She has a husband still and beautiful children, but her newfound 'chastity' got her nothing else.

Meanwhile, while she was 'whoring' in her 20s,  she was amazing, had a career, had traveled extensively, had crazy adventures, and was a very wealthy single woman.

[/quote]

My takeaway from your story, pp, is that it is not very encouraging that an "experienced" woman could not detect that her DH was a sex addict.  What was the point of having all these experiences if none of them gave her the insight to stay away from a crappy potential spouse, arguably the most important decision of your life?  And no, I don't believe that he "hid" this behavior completely, without red flags.[/quote]

Yes, he did a good job hiding his behavior. [b] He traveled extensively for work[/b] and [b]had a lot of clients who were in contact with him constantly.[/b]  [b]He took women out on fancy dinners on these trips, [/b]but my aunt thought that he was just having business dinners.  He was old fashioned and had a crappy phone, so he never texted or sent/received pictures.  He's not on social media.

Also, he was not a crappy spouse, except for the sex addiction and the money.  He catered and caters to my aunt's every need, is a devoted father, and was present for every event, including the family dinner every night he was home.  That he often cooked. He just happened to take advantage of every time he was not home - i.e. he would go to strip clubs and/or seek out prostitutes every chance he had.

Some people happen to be very good liars, and can hide infidelities for a long long time.  [/quote]

Ok pp I bolded the "hmm" or "red flag" moments your aunt should have had.  These would warrant a little more investigation or discussion before marriage.  More important question- why on earth would you know about your aunt's stds?

And pp, I don't know how old you are or how experienced you are, but someone who is a sex addict who squanders all your money is, indeed, a crappy spouse.[/quote]

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