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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

My own situation has some things in common. DH and I are both immigrants and now make decent money. DHs parents have made several disastrous decisions that had a major impact on their ability to provide to themselves. They are used to living above their means (not extravagantly but consistently above what they actually can afford), have long ago squandered everything they have inherited, favor their other son, deny to our faces we gave them money we sent just a few months before, totally ignore our advice and protestations and are unrepentant in respect to their decisions and lifestyle. Yet, they are 65 and 70 and love their grandchildren (my children) to death. I had several screaming fights with my MIL but we made up.

We can afford to give them some money though my husband doesn't want to (he makes about 3 times more than I do). But I feel a bit sorry for them and I don't think it's a good example for my kids that they get various extras while their own grandparents are struggling (for which they are 100% responsible but still...). So I promised to give them money for a new car (which due to aforementioned disastrous decisions is an absolute necessity for them) and, since my husband objects, will likely fund that from my personal account. This is not the first time I give them money... but honestly, it makes me feel better about myself and I think it's good for the kids. The fact that they love my kids so much is the bottom line for me. My older daughter is quite willing to forfeit her own gifts so that we can send money to grandma. I think it's a good lesson in priorities. To be sure we are not sending them large sums  - they also live abroad where many things are cheaper. So, no, I wouldn't endanger my own livelihood because of them. [/quote]

Good for you. Your children will appreciate it. [/quote]

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