Reply to Private School - has it been worth the money to you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From what I've seen, it's not where you went to school that counts, but what you major in that will determine how successful you will be after college. I know way too many people with liberal arts degrees from ivies that don't have jobs where they earn as much as the kids in my family- bottom tier schools, but kick ass majors= [b]fat paychecks.[/b][/quote]

not the goal for my kids.  In fact, I really hope to raise my kids how I was raised - to think of money as pretty inconsequential and college as an opportunity to learn.  I got an English degree and don't have a fat paycheck and am happy and fulfilled, wanting nothing.  My brother actually fell in love with the law, because a big-law lawyer and now makes a fat paycheck, but finds money inconsequential and lives much the way I live.  I think our houses cost the same![/quote]

"money as pretty inconsequential" = my parents paid for my English degree and I don't have to worry about saving money or making money because my parents are my emergency fund.  
Money is not inconsequential.  It pays for education and housing and food and safety.  [/quote]

nope.  dad was in grad school when I was in elementary school - family fo 5 living on a 5,000 graduate stipend in 1979.  We were on food stamps!  There was no money given to me for my state school, but it was the 80s and I could live off of pell grants and part-time work and a small tuition scholarship.  I do not come from money and was suporting myself at 18 (with summers home  though I still worked in the summer - I think my parents paid for a meal ticket in the cafeteria one year). I graduated with 10,000 in loans and a liberal arts degree becuase college is about learning not votech.  growing up with no littls money and being happy and having a rich childhood is what taught me that money is inconsequential.

I worry how my own kids, living a very middle class childhood in a place where money matters so much will ever learn what I did and thus will have the choices I had.  I do feel like not caring about a fat paycheck gave me many more choices.

[/quote]

I totally relate to this.  Grew up in a regular middle class upbringing and had parents who valued hard work, personal responsibility etc.  Went to ok public schools, and most would consider my HS not that great, but it was a bit bifurcated (AP/Gifted track and the rest).  So, I got what I needed and got out.  Skipped around in good undergrad universities trying to find my place (as I think can be common at this age for some), got a grad degree at a good school.  I absolutely value the fact that I grew up in a non-sheltered environment that taught me how to get on and get along with lots of different people - really relating to people with money, those without it and everywhere in between.  Both racially and economically diverse.  I think I was a better person for it, because this also represents the real world in which we live.  Fast forward and I'm doing nothing similar to my degree work but make 250-400k/year.  DH was also public, similar to me, similar college and grad experiences.  We both had international schooling experiences as well in college (that cost less than our universities).  He loves what he does and makes 300-500k/year.  We both intend to send our kids to NW DC public schools.  Why?

Because, while it is nice not to be poor or scraping for money, money does not = contentment/happiness.  I think that the greater question being ignored is why are we always trying to push to go to the best of the best and the Ivies (unless YOUR goal for your child is to be super high up in the financial world or president - two of the last areas where it seems to matter) when a different, more relaxed (and still good) education may just put them in a better head-space?  It may also give them more drive.  Studies have also shown that people/groups make better decisions (for instance, in investing decisions etc) when the groups making the decisions are more heterogeneous (not as homogeneous as a private school can be in economic terms).  The constant drive of uber-competitiveness and jealousies that seem to be prevalent at private school just isn't worth it.

We can give our kids great experiences with the money we're not spending on private.  In the end, what I *want* for them is to be happy, well-rounded and good people.  And I'm not saying that private schools are the source of all evil.  Not by any stretch.  But I do question them as the path to ultimate happiness.  If a kid is smart (AND if they have the internal drive that pushes them), they'll be smart in most any environment and will be a success, by whatever measure is important to them.  Always being in the rat race of $$ might not be the most important thing in life and may actually lead them to more unhappiness in the end.

And yes, I also agree that asking this question only in this forum will mostly give you a very self-selected group of people....those who have chosen to spend the money and stay in private (meaning of course they're happy with their choice, so you have the answer almost before you ask).  Ask also in the public forum, and you'll probably get a broader spectrum of answers to supplement these and will give yourself a more rounded sample (see earlier note about sampling more diverse opinions in life).[/quote]

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