Reply to 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]In my house the decision would be her body, her choice[/b]. But I would recommend Nair or waxing.[/quote]

In mine too, but only after I was sure she understood the societal dynamics that makes shaving a desirable behavior for women, and after I was sure she didn't prefer me to deal with the people who should put a stop to the teasing and the persona comments from her peers.

Also, the shaving would happen in a way that's consistent with our family values - frugally, cruelty-free products only, at home, not at a salon.[/quote]

:roll:  :roll:  :roll:  :roll:  :roll: [/quote]

Ok, eyeroller, since I'm the poster you're snarking at, honest questions for you:

do decisions happen in a vacuum in your family?

Do house rules go out of the window when a child of yours wants to do something s/he hadn't been doing before?[/quote]

The eye rolls were directed toward your oh-so-earnest need[b] to turn a very simple issue [/b]into something involving "societal dynamics, desirable behavior for women, shaving as related to family values - frugally, cruelty-free products only, at home, blah blah blah".  Does every decision you make entail the same laborious thought process?  When you eat out, do you insist on knowing the background of the chicken you're about to eat - did she have a good life, etc. a la Portlandia caricature?  Actually, I'm sure chicken wouldn't ever cross your plate, cruelty-free and all that.

Anyhow, you're just too precious for words.  As for "house rules going out the window" when my child wants to do something new?  If we feel it makes sense to adjust our rules accordingly, then we do.  We don't hold fast to unbendable, inflexible rules just because.  If a situation calls for a new approach, we're able to adjust - and the sky doesn't fall.[/quote]

It's not a very simple issue. It would be my daughter choosing to adopt the patriarchal paradigm and patriarchy-dictated norms. It would still be her choice to do so, but it wouldn't be happening in a vacuum.

As for the chicken question, we're a Vegan household and eat out accordingly. But I'm sure that was a provocation... here, I bit, aren't you proud of yourself?

Re. the adjusting of house rules, our daughter being allowed to shave would be the adjustment. Our family's key values (the ones you seem to enjoy snarking at) would remain the same. She would shave according to them or she wouldn't be shaving at all. Her choice.[/quote]

Middle aged guy here.  I love that you are fighting the patriarchy (really, no snark).  But I think it's important to remember that your daughter is growing up inside the patriarchy. [b] It's her native country, unfortunately.[/b]  Sometimes you have to make compromises.   [/quote]

Thanks.

As for the bolded, no, it's not. We'll be leaving in a matter of months and going back (probably permanently) to my husband's native country, where patriarchy-related issues are much less of a problem.

While living a few years abroad is always an enriching experience, and I'm glad my children had that, I'm glad we're getting out of here before shaving at ten is even a bleep on our household radar.

In any case, thanks for your support. It's nice to have it, especially coming from a man.[/quote]

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