Reply to I'm Transgender. Come talk to me!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Gaia][quote=Anonymous]Good thread. Informative and helpful on some levels.

I just have one question and it comes from a very personal place with me.

Why did you get married and have children if you knew it wasn't who you were? I ask this because I'm in the same position as your ex wife. I am she only with 3 children to whom my ExH ripped to shreds when I accidentally walked in on him playing dress up. It wasn't fair to me that he took away the best years of my life living a lie. [/quote]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It absolutely wasn't fair to you, or to my ex wife. [b]Your life wasn't completely wasted, though, as now you have children.[/b] As much of a mistake my marriage was, I have my two beautiful children that are the best thing I've ever done.

My ex and I didn't mean to get pregnant. We were in college and thought we were infallible, so we were not always careful with birth control. Her parents pressured us to get married and I'd always been taught that's what men should do in those situations, so we wed. It was a mistake. We both knew it was a mistake and were heading towards divorce before I came out to her.

That's not an excuse, I know. I'm not sure what the outcome of our lives would have been had we not gotten married, but I very firmly avoid thinking about what if's.[/quote]

No offense and I understand what you're trying to do here but with all due respect you're not the one stuck raising the children with no help and no husband or father. Keyword being FATHER. My sons did not need another mother. They needed a Dad to throw a baseball, teach them to ride a bike, go camping. A healthy male role model to bear some positive influence and talk to about topics that are awkward to talk to their mother about. They needed the benefits of a traditional family. I didn't make a decision to be a single mom. That was a decision he made for me by lying about what he was. I'm just trying to do the best I can. However, in the end I'll be the one alone while he's exploring his new identity.

I could care less what gender you live your life as. However, I don't support what you did to your family and nothing you say will change my position on that. Your wife did not make a choice to raise children with another woman and I'm sure she wasn't dreaming of trying to convince her children that an alternate lifestyle full of ridicule and violence was ok. Do you realize how cruel other kids can be? Do you even know what your kids are putting up with at school? You didn't have the right to make these decisions for them and to say you don't think about the 'what ifs' is bullshit. It's quite obvious in this situation you only thought about yourself. 
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