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[quote=Gaia][quote=Anonymous]Good thread. Informative and helpful on some levels.

I just have one question and it comes from a very personal place with me.

Why did you get married and have children if you knew it wasn't who you were? I ask this because I'm in the same position as your ex wife. I am she only with 3 children to whom my ExH ripped to shreds when I accidentally walked in on him playing dress up. It wasn't fair to me that he took away the best years of my life living a lie. [/quote]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It absolutely wasn't fair to you, or to my ex wife. Your life wasn't completely wasted, though, as now you have children. As much of a mistake my marriage was, I have my two beautiful children that are the best thing I've ever done.

My ex and I didn't mean to get pregnant. We were in college and thought we were infallible, so we were not always careful with birth control. Her parents pressured us to get married and I'd always been taught that's what men should do in those situations, so we wed. It was a mistake. We both knew it was a mistake and were heading towards divorce before I came out to her.

That's not an excuse, I know. I'm not sure what the outcome of our lives would have been had we not gotten married, but I very firmly avoid thinking about what if's.[/quote]

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