Reply to Complicated Issue: Best Way to Blend this Unique Family????

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here.  Assuming it is not a troll, I actually get OP's question.  How many times do you hear about someone with substantial wealth passing away and legal battles between the children and the step mom? Legally speaking, spouse inherits unless you have clearly spelled out otherwise.  I see OP as trying to be fair to his children, fair to her son, and fair to herself.  I think there are three things to consider.  The day to day budget and how you split expenses, how things for the kids will be handled  like if either of you want to help pay for weddings or downpayments for a home or to bail kids out of financial trouble and the will/estate planning. As other people have mentioned, you can get something legally that his daughters inherit the house but you get to live there until your death.

The more challenging will be that you guys agree on how big financial decisions are made including those that involve the soon to be blended family. My only advice is if you want to have money that you combine from the point that you are married on, make sure you agree up front on big gifts/supports for adult children and any of their children (future grandchildren) up front.  I personally think what you do for one child, you do for all the children.  [/quote]

OP here--

Thanks! Rational, well-adjusted people who understand the intricacies of real life understand where I'm coming from. Unfortunately, a lot of the people on this site are hurt individuals Who can't help but interject their insecurities and life disappointments on others.

I am well-aware that as the WIFE, absent a will every single thing goes to me. Thanks for understanding that I'm considering his daughters.

SO and I discussed this today. The short of it is that his intention is to provide for me as his wife. His daughters will/should one day marry the men who will provide for them. As far as he's concerned, it's just US; the kids are transitioning adults who will have to make their own ways in the world as we did.

That is the short, bare bones of what he said.

We discussed a few other scenarios I proposed that I'll type when I'm not on my phone.
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