Reply to Teen daughter "didn't wait"...how to proceed?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^Pp I think my point is that these kids are still children.  They aren't living together and (hopefully) they aren't sleeping over at each other's houses.  They aren't supporting themselves, they sure as heck aren't ready to deal with VD, pregnancy, BABIES.

They spend time together, sure.  But why are they spending this much time together? Go out - go to a movie and have ice cream afterwards.  Then go home to their own houses. Go to dinner then go to the school dance - I want you home by (whatever) time.

Why are they spending so much time alone in each other's bedrooms.  Is it a surprise that they're having sex?  Well, no it is not.  OF COURSE that's what they're doing.  And that is why these PARENTS are sitting around at dinner chatting with each other about their KIDS' sex life.  I can not even imagine...

Newsflash - A 15 year old is not a grown up.

[/quote]

PP, many parents see the teenage years as being a gray area between "child" and "adult." Teenagers are children who are LEARNING how to be adults. They are doing that in a variety of ways, including becoming educated about more intellectual, nuanced things than they experienced in elementary school, working at part-time jobs, and, YES, becoming involved in romantic relationships. I don't know how much time you think the kids are spending together, but as a teenager, I did not have a problem going to school regular hours, working a part time job, participating in extracurricular activities, spending time with my family, spending time with my friend AND being romantic with my boyfriend. We weren't having sex all the time and it wasn't coming at the expense of other things by any measurable criteria - both of our grades were good, we both excelled in our various extras, we were recognized at work as being dependable, our friends and families did not complain that we were never around, etc..

If you don't find it surprising that teenagers are having sex, I don't understand why you're upset that the parents of the teenage couple in question would check in with each other about the issue. Screaming "NO NO NO NO NO" is not going to be effective at this point (if it would ever be effective). Is your suggestion that the parents pretend that nothing is happening?[/quote]

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