Reply to Why so much hate for the OW?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I do judge the OW when a man leaves his wife and children for her. Then she does have some accountability.[/quote]
Why would a wife want a husband who wants to be with someone else? This is what I don't get. Some women have zero self-worth, then complain that their men don't want them.

I am not clear on OW's accountablity here. All three are adults capable of making their choices.[/quote]

Except because it's done in secret, only DH and OW actually have free will choices.  That's why it's so offensive to me.  The wife doesn't get to choose. Yes, I get that the husband and wife have an obligation to treat each other well.  This is obvious:  if the husband doesn't feel treated well, it's in the OPEN.  That is, it's not a secret.  He has every right to negotiate better treatment.  When is that courtesy extended to DW?  It's extended to the OW who can decide and weigh in on getting involved.  That's why the OW doesn't quite avoid full responsibility.  She is at least afforded the option of choices, with access to the full view (I don't buy getting innocently deceived - if you don't know friends and family and haven't been to his place, you shouldn't be sleeping with him)[/quote]

Single/available people hook up all the time for flings w/o ever meeting friends, relatives, etc.  It just never gets that deep for them even though they have sex. [b] That may not be a choice that you or I would make but that doesn't mean that they are "wrong" for having their fling. [/b] But if one of those people lies about their own marital status that is just plain deceptive and wrong.  A person might agree to have sex with another single/available person but would never knowingly have sex with a married person. I suppose if the person could betray his/her own spouse it is not that surprising that they could dupe their lover as well.  While I think that most affair partners know darned well that they are sleeping with a married/taken person, I can see how some might be duped into believing that their married partner is single.

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Actually, I do think it is wrong to have a fling. [/quote]

Well, they happen.  Sometimes you have a strong physical attraction to someone who just plain isn't long term relationship material so you enjoy what you do have together.  And if you are both single/available and it's consensual I see nothing wrong with it.[/quote]

Then we disagree. [/quote]

What in the world? Why do you care what single people do with each other when it has nothing to do with you? [/quote]

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