Reply to Wedding Invitation - "No Boxed Gifts"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread is not making South Asian cultures look good at all.[/quote]

Whatever.  Take a post off of DCUM and decide that South Asian cultures are horrible from it.  Typical.  Like your culture is all roses right?

To the OP- If you don't want to give a gift, don't.  Stating no boxed gifts simply means that if you want to give the couple a gift then instead of spending on some stupid registry gift, please give them the cash instead and allow them to use it as they need to benefit them.

To you all stating that this is not Asia, I'm sure the couple and their family are aware of that obvious fact.  The majority of the attendants to the wedding will be South Asian.

South Asian weddings are LARGE, no one wants 500 boxes of any kind of gift.  Cash is the POLITE gift to give to a new couple starting their life together.  We don't know their circumstances, we don't know if they need a toaster, if they need money for a downpayment for a house, or if they would like to use their gifts to pay down any student loans so they don't start life together with a debt.

In American culture, gifts are polite.  If you like it, keep it, if you don't then donate it.  But that is seen as extremely wasteful in India.  What holds value is cash and gold.  Those are the gifts given to a new couple or at a baby's birth, etc. because they mean a lot more for the well being of the family.

Registries for gifts or towards a honeymoon are TACKY.  I mean, really, I've seen some things like " hey help us enjoy our honeymoon by paying for a snorkel trip".  Gross.  How about I give you some money and you go buy your own snorkel package or your own set of dishes.  Why do I have to go shopping around for you when you are perfectly capable of shopping for yourself.

But you can not put nothing at all on the card.  Guest want to know what to get, it's a lot more stressful for them to just have to randomly pick up a gift of for a new couple.  So either a registry or "no boxed gifts" needs to be listed.

My husband and I are both South Asian, but newsflash DCUM, it's not a monolith.  We did two different invitations- for my side and my husband's side. "No boxed gifts" on mine, nothing on his, since "no boxed gifts" would have been taboo in his family and like I said registries are tacky.  My MIL was inundated with calls about what to buy us as a gift.

The checks from my side gave us a very nice cushion to start out with-  the remainder my student loans paid off, the rest into a Vanguard account that's been growing money for the past 15 years.

[/quote]

Lot of sweeping generalizations here ....... and I certainly agree with the PP who wrote that paying your college debt is the farthest thing from my mind when I give a wedding gift. What is next? Pay-off credit card bills?[/quote]

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