Reply to How to approach a friend in total denial

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP friend's son is like mine but my DS is not nearly as bad.  He had a traumatizing experience at college (roommate bullied him relentlessly) in addition to other problems, came home.  Before this he did part of a summer at a therapeutic place ($50,000, some insurance re-imbursement). Took a job for a while, quit.  Went to CC a semester, failed.  Sat at home for about two years.

What has NOT helped. DH saying repeatedly, "Let's face it he is a hopeless case--he needs years of therapy."

First off, he won't go to therapy and he is over 18 so I can't make him.  He does see a medicating psychiatrist.  I have looked into places as no doubt OP has.  But, apart from the important fact that DS won't even do the intake interview, I really think the vast majority of them will not be helpful.

A place like Menninger may be successful at getting someone out of a deep depression but then what? I'd spend the money if I thought it would put him firmly on a positive, upward path, but I know the chances are against this and it is all hypothetical if he is not willing to go in the first place.

What has helped.  Me keeping an optimistic outlook and giving him lots of encouragement.  He started college locally this semester and so far it is looking okay.  Far from perfect, but he is turning in work and attending classes.

OP appears to think her friend is in denial because she won't admit her DS is a hopeless case a la DH.  OP thinks she would be doing her friend a favor by giving her a reality check on her denial.  If someone called me on how I am handling the situation I'd say what I've said above, in .  If they then pressed that I was in denial, I'd say I am doing the best I can and keeping positive allows me to continue giving him encouragement, the best and only hope he and I have.[/quote]

NP here, and I just wanted to send out virtual (((hugs))) to you and your family. I'm so sorry to read about your son's experience at college, that is heartbreaking. You sound like a fantastic mom and I if I were ever in a position like yours, I hope I could do as great a job as you are. [/quote]

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