Reply to Some people just don't understand the sacrifices required to be a parent...

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[quote=Anonymous]Single parent here. I haven't read the entire thread, just the first couple of pages, so I could well be missing something.

That said, I agree with OP that some things are really hard to process when you feel your spouse/partner is somewhat or very lackadaisical when it comes to your kids. I understand that he was astonished and put off by DW not wanting to breastfeed to the point of letting the baby go hungry. I also think it was quite weird that OP didn't immediately bottle feed when DW brushed off the first couple of feedings.

However, sounds like in the present DW is doing a lot more, and two kids will be much harder to parent alone than one. I personally would not advise a split.

As a single parent I really value the time I get to spend with my DD (I only have one); like some PPs have posted previously, I have worked hard to make sure that the time DD spends away from me, in school and in daycare, is time that nourishes her and that she enjoys. The time we do have together, evenings and weekends I spend with her, reading and playing and sometimes just snuggled together watching WETAKIDS.

There's a lot I've given up.

DD is almost 6, and I am just finding time to get back to the gym a few times a week, so I weigh more than I'd like and have carried this weight for a few years. I don't date, not because there isn't interest but because I can't justify the time taken away from DD -- it doesn't benefit her or entertain me to spend time with random dudes in light-hearted banter. I'm not as up on current events and world affairs as I'd like to be. My girlfriends are the ones I've had forever and have stuck with me through these years when I've gone from being a smart, well-versed, dynamic out-and-about single to a still smart but woefully behind, boring single parent whose social life consists of playdates and kid-friendly activities. My home is never as clean as I'd like and I've gone from being a borderline gourmet and hobbyist chef to being a masterful maker of fettucini, grilled cheese sandwiches, spaghetti and meatballs, and smoothies of all kinds in an effort to get my picky eater to consume something green. I used to read avidly, and I miss that as well.

My current lifestyle works for me because of my priorities and because although I miss a lot of things I'm not resentful; I understand this is a space in time and that I'll gradually get back to most of those things. Sounds to me like both OP and DW have some unrealistic expectations and need to work both on their relationship with each other and on finding a middle ground when it comes to parenting.

Best of luck to them both. [/quote]

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