Reply to Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?

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Reply to "Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here again.  I think the lesson here for me is for when I have kids and how to navigate this sports (or other activity) world and keep true to my value or priority of family first.  How that works within the lives of kids/teens.  How to place the context for the family, despite possibly restrictive circumstances and clear benefits of the activities and the commitment to those.  Definitely hard.  But I keep coming back to - for me - a tournament or sporting event is not more important than a big family event like this (my wedding or if my mom got remarried or if my dad won the nobel prize).  I do recognize that as my personal value.  Not to be required of others.  I think I'm just really still surprised.  Maybe that's naive as hell. [/quote]
This has been an interesting thread OP.  I'm guessing you will not dwell on your niece's absence for very long, and that all will be just fine in the end.

One thing to keep in mind about the responses you got from those of us who were worried about your "nephew" missing his first "soccer" games as a freshman member of the varsity team: had you given us the actual details about the child/sport/age, you might have gotten very different responses.  To me and many others, that particular scenario would be very different from a middle schooler missing a cross-country meet or an elementary student missing part of a diving tournament.  One of my kids is a top player on a top soccer team, and neither we nor his coaches would hesitate to let him miss a tournament or league game for an aunt's wedding, unless perhaps it were a national championship game.  His coaches and teammates have known him for years and appreciate his contributions to the team.  That's very different from someone trying to break into a new team in HS with an unknown coach and teammates. [/quote]

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