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[quote=Anonymous]Yeah BTDT -as a DIL

MIL consistently gave personal gifts to H, while I received gifts for the household (baking pans anyone?  And no, I don't really bake).  Then as kids came along, more of the same.  Kids and H got personal gifts, and I got - household stuff.  But I wrote thank you notes for every single gift.  H never set up boundaries with his M, even after she started acting increasingly passive aggressively  towards me.  (during one visit, when I was 8.5 months pg with kid #2, she though it would be hilarious she and H left a Safeway shopping cart on our front lawn, since it would look kinda icky, and I'd have to wheel it 4 blocks back to the store.  So they did.  So weird).

FFWD a few years, and H is now an ex, and MIL has stopped all contact with and our children.  Well, actually so has H, so I guess he did draw boundaries in a way, I just never knew I was the one on the outside.

So - to the new MIL - treat your new DIL with kindness and love and as part of your family.  You should do fine.  And hopefully your DS will step up and recognize that his DW is his primary family now.  Good luck.  How about just a plain old $50 gift card that she can spend as she chooses?  On a pet or on herself.  One for your DS and one for your DIL.  Not rocket science.[/quote]

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