Reply to Christmas at McDonald's

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Christmas at McDonald's"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just tell her that since dinner seems to be a tough thing for her to manage, you will now have dinner separately and join them later for dessert and gifts.  There's no need to carry any angst about your children not having memories of a family meal. It's not going to be there, ever, so you need to accept that and make a new dynamic if that's important to you.[/quote]

Thank you - and thank you other PPs - so glad you get it.  I appreciate those who have similar life experiences, it is difficult to explain to people who don't appreciate their perfect families (or think they do, but clearly do not).

Now, the "masks" PP described is exactly the type of tools I need.  The ILs have been getting away with using them ever since DH was born - and it is a part of their abuse toward him.  They try to treat me, and consequently DCs, the same as DH allows them to treat him.  DH is too afraid of them to change it, and without his willingness to improve relations, it can not go forward.  So we are forced to make other plans.  Which could be perfectly fine.  I just have to commit to it 100%.  I really (really!) appreciate your support.

It is hard for me, because when my parents were here, the meal was the most important part of the day.  I did not (and do not) understand any other way - it is easy to tell me it just is, but it may take a while to learn another way.  Hopefully I can.  I treasure having so many family members, friends, neighbors and guests in and out, like an open house, every holiday.  And yes, there were plenty of leftovers for everyone - who packed their own on the way out, because my parents cooking was locally famous.  I thought everyone did that.  We didn't have a lot of money, but we had some amazing food and amazing people in our lives.  They could make the best out of nothing, truly. It's hard.

I can't fathom not wanting someone at the table, or not wanting to serve enough - it seems awfully hateful and anti-Christmas to me.

I do think I should give her the heads up, just for not letting her think "the terrorists have won".  It would have to be via email.  It is impossible to reason with someone who acts surprised and baffled if you tell her the sky is blue.  Yes, this is what we are dealing with.  I am sure others would have told them off years ago!

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics