Reply to If DH is a law firm partner, must I be the default parent?

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Reply to "If DH is a law firm partner, must I be the default parent?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He says yes.  I say no.  I work full time and we have a two year old.  [/quote]

The summer my husband interned at a big law firm downtown, he realized that every male partner was on his second wife/family--none of their first marriages had survived. [b]He decided to apply for the DOH honors program instead, because he wanted to be a parent more than he wanted to be a partner. Priorities[/b].[/quote]

I am guessing you mean DOJ, and mine did too, and works 70 hour weeks as a trial lawyer/deputy chief in a very busy section. I am the default parent at a big law job (part time). So -- one size doesn't really fit all, KWIM? Many type A people stretch a job to fit their ambition/comfort level. Not saying that is optimal, but your experience is not the gold standard. There is more than one way to "be a parent". [/quote]

Well, as another PP described it, "As a law firm partner, his clients come first so by definition he cannot commit to any family obligations."

I certainly think my standard for who is a parent is a lot better than that one. [/quote]

well, of course. But for many government lawyers, the case comes first, too. It has little to do with the job, more to do with the person.[/quote]

This is bizarre. [b]The modal government worker works far less than the modal big law attorney. Obviously your mileage may vary when talking about specific individuals, but overall the expectations are vastly different. You can't go to a law firm and move up while working only 40-50 hours a week, but you can in government. You can't succeed in a firm and make it home for dinner every night, but you can do that in government without fearing for your job.[/b]

Agree that this doesn't help OP, but it should be a lesson to others, esp. big law wives who don't have kids yet. [/quote]

You can't be a federal prosecutor in a high profile section or office and work less than a big law attorney. [/quote]

+1. DOJ trial attorneys wouldn't leave for Big Law if their quality of life already weren't so bad and pay so low. When you are prepping for trial, and in trial, you are working Big Law hours and then some. Also, you are involved in trials far more frequently than a Big Law attorney, have a lot less support staff, and have a pay cap--no matter how senior--at just shy of $160. 
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