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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm OP. Not to get into the weeds on the math, but we are still paying for school for the older. DW's salary covered infant care for both kids, her retirement, our healthcare, and there was a couple of hundred bucks at the end of month. So, it was a wash in her mind but not mine. We use my health insurance (crappier).[/quote]

YOUR words were: "And with daycare cost, it was a wash." I feel like you may be manipulating the facts just a bit in order to make your point.  If your family would not have more money if your wife worked, that makes a difference.  You also claim that you had to take a more demanding job in order to make up for your wife staying home, and I'm not sure I buy that as the main reason why you changed jobs.  You won't admit it on here I'm sure, but in your heart of hearts, know that if you have changed some of the facts you really can't rely on the answers you got here.

I sympathize with you, but it just seems like you are hell-bent on denying that there are ANY advantages to your wife being home.  Your kids were happier in daycare, you did more of the heavy lifting, your wife was happier, life was perfect!  I think you may be idealizing how things were, because obviously your wife did not feel the same way, and her feelings are just as valid as yours.  NOTHING in life is that black and white. I've been a WOHM and my kids have been in daycare since infancy, and we are happy, but I still believe that all things being equal, kids under 3 are better off at home with a parent than in a childcare setting.  If you can't at least admit that there are some tradeoffs, you are too entrenched in your position to really communicate with your wife, and I would suggest planning now for a divorce.      [/quote]

^^ I just read your recent long response.  You also seem to work in a field where it is amazingly easy to just ramp up and down in your job based on your family needs.  You doubled your salary just like that, but you could easily downshift too!  It's all your wife's fault!!  Based on most people I know in real careers, that doesn't ring true.

Again, I think you have some good points, but I don't think you've been totally honest, and I think it's because you don't want to acknowledge that your wife is not entirely at fault for everything you see as lacking in your family life.  [/quote]

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