Reply to What is Just Compensation for a "Life Lost"?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do you feel that you are owed a $100k living? The average salary in this country is less than half that -- for people who work full-time. Most people will work all of their lives and never make close to that, including people with college degrees. [/quote]

In the example above, I would offer that Annie's closest colleague at the firm, also a woman and also her year, did stay to make partner in the Mergers and Acquisitions practice and is now, at age 60, earning more than $2 million/year.  Annie would feel, rightly, that she gave up a future earning $2 million/year, so that George could pursue his future potential (successfully) earning $5 million/year.  That is why she would feel that she is owed a very generous alimony.

As you yourself point out, most people in the U.S. make nowhere near that amount, and would thus not expect, or indeed be awarded, that particularly generous alimony.[/quote]

Still... people don't think spending your days in the spa, gym and country club is a huge sacrifice. She made her choice... family. He made his choice ... money.

It's a bummer... but there are decisions and consequences. Most people want their cake... but the cake is either eaten or stale.[/quote]

In the example above, Annie was not spending her days at the spa, gym, and country club.  [b]She was spending her days taking care of a household and family[/b] that was moving regularly around the world so that her spouse could pursue every possible career opportunity, while his and her children also adjusted and thrived with every step, not an easy thing to do.  If she had not been so engaged, and required to move around, she would have presumably built a successful law practice like her good friend and former-colleague Meryl.  In cases like these, including much less extreme examples of career sacrifice and moves, the career-sacrificing spouse is awarded very healthy, long-term alimony.  And in many cases, the very wealthy, high-income ex-spouse does not begrudge them the alimony because they recognize their ex-spouse's sacrifice and contribution to the family, the children's, and indeed their success.

I am sorry if that was not your experience, or perhaps you are the type that begrudges an at-home spouse for ultimately getting paid more for his or her in-home work than you are paid for your out-of-the-home work?[/quote]

Once the kids are a certain age this is just not true (unless she homeschools). The kids are in school and "run the household" is just lame. Stop making this some telenovela. Some men are nice and give their wives more money than they should. That is fine. But the fact is that she made her decision and she needs to live with it. She could have made other decision if money was her first concern, as it usually is for men.

I am sorry that you feel you need to be paid to care for your own children... that is truly bizarre. You should feel blessed that you got to live off the dole for so long. [/quote]

My mother worked for the State Department (or as I suspect, perhaps one of the three-letter agencies) when I was growing up.  We lived literally on every continent except one, and though my father was a professor (or was he?), he found it very difficult to find work abroad at every new posting with the understanding that he would be gone in another year or two at most.  In any case, he never found or established the continuity of work necessary to advance most successful careers.  Some of the places we lived were quite risky, and I am personally glad that my sister and I had one parent able to devote their time to our adjustment and development.

So in my case, I would say the "at-home" work did not end when we were at school, and in fact became more complicated in some cases my dad had to drive us long-distances to the nearest international or American schools, and even longer distances to places for the musical training both my sister and I engaged in at a high level.[/quote]

My friend works for the CIA.... we can say it... DHS is not going to bust us... and his wife STAYED IN THE STATES AND CONTINUED HER CAREER. [b]If he decides to work for the CIA and travel all over the world that is his choice[/b][i], she in the meantime is a very successful lawyer.[/quote]

How may children do they have?  Or don't they have any yet?  If the latter, then yes, I can see how this mutually-beneficial arrangement is sustainable in the long-run. "And I would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids."[/quote]

3[/quote]

That is great for them.  I assume they must live near some family, which many people in these situations do not, but you will probably tell me that they have absolutely no family or support anywhere in the DC area, just to validate this extreme example.  In any case, how sad for the children that there dad is always abroad working and they never get to see him?

Or, I am sorry, did you say "IF he decides . . . to travel all over the world"?  So it appears, in your example, that he has sacrificed his (potential advancement) opportunities abroad by deciding primarily to stay locally.  That is what I thought, in your friend's case, her husband has made the sacrifice by continuing to work primarily out of his DC base, so that his wife can continue with her successful law practice.  Someone always has to make the sacrifice.  I am glad that he made one for her and the family. [/quote]

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