Reply to Would you date someone in his/her late 30s who is still a virgin?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't recommend this; I'm a guy who lost his v-card at 14.  At 40, divorced, I tried to date a 36 year old who I believe was a virgin.  Yes, very religious, and pretty picky.  Totally did not work.  [/quote]

I'm not a virgin, but I wouldn't date a guy who was having sex at age 14. Or referring to virginity as the "v-card" above the age of 14.[/quote]

Really, how would you know this? Are you asking people when they started having sex when dating? Seems like you're taking shots at PP for silly reasons.[/quote]

I'm in a relationship now, but when I was on the market, I actually did bother to get to know people's values before going out with them. I suppose that a guy could have lied and said that he lost his virginity later, but how would he know what age I saw as a cutoff? Most guys would actually lie on the side of a younger age than an older one.[/quote]

I'm the guy who started having sex at 14 that everyone is responding to...and yes, our "values" would probably be in conflict then.  My values are that sex is a fun and very natural - fundamental - part of life.  If you are offended by 'v-card' or teen sex, your values sound kind of fearful and sex-negative to me, and we most certainly wouldn't match up.  Fortunately, it's a complete non-issue, because I'm very happily married, so your theoretical rejection doesn't bother me in the least.

You do realize that humans are physically sexually mature by 14?  That whatever the relative and debatable merits of delaying sexual intercourse, that masturbation and sexual arousal are completely and entirely normal by that age?  I certainly don't advocate teen pregnancy, but I hardly think sexual activity among teenagers is abnormal or unacceptable.  Refraining from sexual activity until your 30s is far more abnormal and to me indicative of someone with serious psychological issues - fear of intimacy at the very least, but probably serious body and self-image issues coupled with self-loathing - a kind of self-hate for allowing themselves to feel pleasure.  In fairness, in a lot of cases, I think it's just a case of super-low libido.

That you have the need to wrap yourself up in the mantle of 'values' in order to look down on me suggests to me you are the fearful and self-loathing (insecure and threatened) variety of sex-negative late bloomer.  I'm glad you wouldn't date me, I wouldn't want to waste my time on someone so hung-up - having sex - plentiful and kinky - is very important to me.  [/quote]

You need to practice your psychic skills more before you hang out a shingle. I enjoy sex and don't have any body issues. Maybe you confuse casual sex with confidence?
I lost my virginity in college to my college sweetheart which is exactly what I planned to do and what most of my friends at the time did. In my social circle, sex before college was uncommon, and at 14 would have been seen as rash. Wanting to have sex at 14 might be physiological normal, but emotionally and socially, the late teens are a better time. Most of my friends --male or female-- lost their virginity to people they had been dating for an extended period of time and were in love with. No one I knew then did it at age 14 as a hookup to shed their "v card". Even now, now of my friends have ever said they were having sex in their early teens.
I have a college age daughter and she knows people who were having sex at 14 or younger. But in her social circle, it was more of a late teens thing (junior or senior year of HS) and again with a long-term dating partner. She knows many people who were virgins in college, even a few beyond freshman year. Some of these virgins were/are male. None were/are dying the social death that Eliot Rodgers imagined. [/quote]

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