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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you're one of the parents who never brings in money for collections, or silent auction items, or you never volunteer for anything like selling raffle tickets, PTA, etc. can you explain why and if it embarrasses you at all? This is anonymous, so no accusations, I just really want to know. What are your justifications? Do you think it impacts your child at all? Do you find yourself avoiding other parents? Or seeking out like-minded ones? Really just looking for honest answers and not ugliness. TIA![/quote]

Let me preface this by saying I am not trying to feel sorry for myself. But you asked so I will tell you.

Single mom here, not by choice.  Up at 6:30, Leave for work at 7:30 AM.  Get home around 5/5:30, pick up child.  
Monday:  Math tutor for an hour.  Dinner.  Homework. Bed for child at 8 PM (child reads for 30 minutes to an hour each night in bed)
Tuesday:  Dinner, homework, therapy for child.  Bed at 8 PM 
Wednesday:  Math tutor for an hour.  Dinner.  Homework. Bed at 8 PM 
Thursday:  Dinner, homework, Tae Kwon do (her one fun extracurricular).
Friday:  No homework!  Thank God!  This is the one night a week I have some free time.  Ex MIL babysits for a  few hours.

Since my ex is several thousand dollars behind in support I am now looking at taking a weekend job to pay for said tutor, therapist, and TKD.

Please tell me where in all that I can participate in the PTA, volunteer, etc?  My vacation will be used by snow days and taking half days off work to come in for the plays scheduled at 1:30 in the afternoon (you may remember me from another thread.)

I don't "avoid" other parents, but I don't know a single one of them either, because I don't have the time to socialize with them that you might.

My point, not everyone has the same flexibility and options that you do.  We're not lazy or uncaring - I wish I could do more "fun" things.  But you don't know what someone's personal circumstance are.

And before you jump on the single mothers as "takers" band wagon, even when I was married, my schedule was much the same, as I was the primary breadwinner, and volunteering for the PTA isn't really ex DH's "thing".

And I recall as a kid, my parents had very limited roles at school.  Once in a blue moon my SAHM chaperoned a field trip, but really, the school didn't do so many things, and there were only a few parents who were closely involved - or even asked or expected to be so.  My parents didn't have to spend every night doing hours of homework with me or making sure I did it.  If I didn't do my homework, the school punished me with a detention.  We don't have detention anymore, guess it costs too much?  And the homework load, since we have to pass the all important SOLs, is insane.  Really it ruins whatever actual "life" my kid and I could have.

IMHO it's a combination of increased volunteer demands on parents by the schools, increased demands on women due to work, increased demands to meet academic standards, and increased homework loads taking up whatever would remain of free time.  [/quote]

When you do all these things for your kid, you are participating in my book.  You have no need to do more than that.  You are really not obliged to do anything for the school.  Volunteers should stop thinking that others should volunteer.  Being a volunteer is a CHOICE, it can't be forced down people's throat.  Not should you volunteer if it makes you unhappy and stressed. The act of volunteering should be your reward.

- perpetual volunteer mom :-)[/quote]

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