Reply to I just don't like my husband anymore

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel so incredibly alone.  My husband is a good person.  He's a nice guy who is devoted to me and our life together.  But for about 4 years he was prone to flying off the handle, extreme moodiness, and irrational anger that sometimes involved shoving me and bruising me.  I felt my love for him disappearing.  I slowly gave up trying to talk to him about any of my feelings because it always led to a fight.  I had a brief affair with a co-worker.  My husband finally started to get therapy about a year ago and he's becoming the man I always wanted.  I think it's too late though.  I feel like he is my child rather than my husband.  I'm so proud of his growth and how far he has come.  I know he feels terribly for the way he behaved.  He told me that he knows I should leave him and that he feels so lucky that I worked with him and forced him to get therapy.  The idea of not having him in my life makes me sad, but I know that I don't love him like a husband.  I just don't think I can ever really trust him again.[/quote]

You're not alone. I feel the same way! My off-the-handle husband was verbally and near physically abusive to me for several years. In individual and couples therapy now, but I don't think I could ever be intimate again with someone who has said the things he has said to me (I am a terrible mother, terrible wife, he will spend the rest of his life trying to take my children away from me because I am so incompetent, etc.). He also destroyed my property in anger. I certainly have fault in that I stood for that behavior (by sweeping it under the rug, being in denial, etc.), but now that I have stood up for myself (I called the police on him last time he destroyed my property), I also can't forget it and can't imagine having respect for myself if I stayed married to this person...[/quote]

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