Reply to I am an Asian woman married to a white guy. Ask me (practically) anything.

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Reply to "I am an Asian woman married to a white guy. Ask me (practically) anything."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why don't you speak your parents native language with your children?  I know so many Asian women married to white men who give their children Anglo names and speak only English.  I wonder why they don't want to pass down their heritage.  It makes me wonder if the whole reason they marry white men is because they are trying to erase their Asian heritage.  This is why I ask,  I'd really like to know so I don't make these assumptions.  It just seems odd and I can't figure it out, especially when the grandparents almost always solely speak the native language.  How do these children communicate and learn from their grandparents with such language barriers?[/quote]

I'm quite proud of my heritage.  I think it's cool.  My friend has an Italian great-grandmother but she's so proud of her 1/8 Italian roots.  I think it's nice to get in touch with your ancestry.

I don't speak it because it is hard for me.  English comes naturally to me.  It is an effort to speak my native tongue unless I am also speaking with a native speaker.  I dream in English!

It is difficult to maintain one's heritage if one's spouse doesn't share in it.  I'm not going to lie, sometimes I feel the desire to attend Mass but I just lose all motivation on Sunday morning when my whole family is just hanging out at home.  Similarly, it is more difficult to go through the motions when my spouse is of a different culture.  I mean, I tried when I got married.  I would cook up my authentic Asian dishes, but DH would eat it and get indigestion from the spices.  So, now we eat spaghetti for dinner.

I didn't marry DH because I hated being Asian, if that's what you are getting at.  I married him because I fell in love with him.  I wasn't limiting myself to just my own people when it came to love.

If you go back far enough, you have immigrants in your background, I'm sure.  One of those generations was like me--caught in the middle, American, but with memories of the homeland.  It gets diluted.  It's nothing specific to me, or Asian women.  It's the story of immigration.[/quote]

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