Reply to WWYD? We hate the name of our foster-to-adopt child

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Reply to "WWYD? We hate the name of our foster-to-adopt child"

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[quote=Anonymous]I wonder if the "true gift by accepting them as they are and "giving them agency" people are the same ones who would take the new child to a restaurant and let them order everything on the menu because "poor thing, she's been through such a hard time".  There are adoptive parents who take the spoiling approach--and if you talk to the parents of those kids once they hit their teens, they will tell you what a bad idea that was.  I don't consider keeping the kid's name to be "spoiling" by any means---but it is the super-deferential attitude towards anything that might upset the child that I find disturbing.

Bottom line OP, is that once this adoption is finalized, YOU will be the child's parent.  If your gut and best judgment tells you that your child's current name is going to cause big problems for her in life, then do what you think is in her long-term best interests.

As a parent, you will do lots of things that may or may not be second guessed by your child later in life.  Such is the nature of parenthood.  It doesn't sound like you want to change the name because this is all about you---it sounds like you want to change it because you are genuinely concerned about the impact such a name will have on the child's progress through life.  Other people obviously have a different take on what they view to be in the child's best interest---but they're not her mother.  YOU are.
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