Reply to WWYD? We hate the name of our foster-to-adopt child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh please. It's a crying shame to be a drug-addicted prostitute. There aren't too many nice spins to put on that one.[/quote]

It sucks, for sure. But it sucks a lot more for her than it does for you, so why so nasty about it? Demonstrate compassion.

My daughter's birth mom has had a complicated life. No addiction, that I know of, but if I wanted to, I could put a pretty negative spin on her circumstances. But I don't judge her for her situation, anyone discussing it with me will know I don't judge her for it, and I don't stand for others saying judgmental things about her.[/quote]

I don't even know what you are saying. what does judging mean? Are you talking about her soul or something? Of course we are not in a position to judge someone on that level. But are you really saying not to judge a drug addicted prostitute who gives birth in prison? Like, we're not supposed to say this is bad because it might hurt someone's feelings? Because saying it's bad is a judgment? Makes no sense.

I mean don't judge. You weren't in her shoes, you don't know what pressures drove her to be there. Maybe prostitution was, in all seriousness, the best option available to her.

Cancer is bad -- but if someone can't parent because of cancer, we don't judge, because we think of it as something that happened to her, not something she wished for. However her mom wound up an addict, and whatever circumstances made her  feel prostitution was her best option, I can almost guarantee you it's not an outcome she wished for. "Not judging" = think of it like cancer; a shitty place she found herself, as opposed to evidence of her poor character.[/quote]

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