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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I realize that this is an odd post.  And I feel odd saying that.

But here's the god honest truth: our daughter has always appeared to us to be just NOT like our two sons. Both our sons are whip smart-straight A's honors, AP, etc.

Our daughter is just NOT.

We've had her tested independently, the outcome said she has "low average intelligence".  Then school tested her, and the result was the same: low average.  it didn't surprise us.

So the news isn't awful-she's average, just on the low side of average.

Here's my struggle. First, I come from a family of above averages. My boys are above average. My experience is with school/academic focused lives.

I am totally and completely fine with her being low average (there has to be a spectrum, right? otherwise we would be all the same!)

But I don't really know what to do with her. its like I am raising an alien.  She's 16 now, so I am thinking about things for her like will she go to college? (In my life, college was NOT optional.  And my brain tells me no one can possibly support themselves without a college degree--can they??)  She wants to go to college, but I worry...she needs SO much support from us now just to get through high school. How the heck will she manage college?

And then my mind wanders: how will she support herself in general?  I try to ask her at times what she is interested in, what does she like, what does she enjoy.  She also has inattentive ADHD, so that coupled with her personality, I know she wouldn't be able to do a corporate job.  But at 16, she really has no clue what she wants to do. She knows she likes planning things (parties etc) but she isn't detail oriented, so things like event management would be a disaster I think.

This really isn't a post asking for opinions about what she could do for a career--what I am really asking is, does anyone else have a kid who just plain isn't that smart? And how do you approach dealing with them? I feel like my mind needs to open into other possibilities for her (other than the going away to college/graduating and going into corporate America track my boys will surely follow).  But I don't even know what those other tracks are.

I'm feeling a little lost. She's 16 years old and I feel as clueless about her future as she does.  And I feel horrible as a parent posting something saying "my kid isn't smart", thank god this forum is anonymous!!!![/quote]

I have not read any of the replies but there is one thing I want to respond to - and that was your question regarding being able to make a living without a college degree.  I know that you probably just wrote that out of panic and frustration but I know  A TON of people without a degree that make more money than those with degrees.  My DS is of average intelligence at least according to his test results but he is also difficult to test due to his ADHD and inattentiveness.  He's 11.  I have often told DH that I sometimes hope that he takes an unconventional route and doesn't go to college but trade school - become a plumber, cabinet maker, barber etc. Most of the people I know in those professions make 6 figures.

You need an attitude adjustment.  all hope for your DD is far from lost.[/quote]

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