Reply to What do you think about letting 17 yr old hang out alone in his room with his girlfriend?

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[quote=Anonymous]I am a PP who said not to let them do this.  But I have to say, I am conflicted.

I did not lose my virginity until I was 19.  I think that was too late.  I think that a male PP had it right, that 17 is about the right age to begin to explore sexually.  I certainly wish I had been having sex earlier - IF I had a nice boy to be doing it with.  And of course, using birth control.  But I'm not sure my parents should have been encouraging me to do get out there and lose it.

I shudder when I hear of people losing it at 16,  I was horrified when a young relative confided in my that she lost it at 13.  13!!!

I guess other PPs are right that we can talk and talk about responsibility, but we are not going to stop them from having sex.

As a mom of daughters, my plan has always been to take them to a GYN around age 16 and just go ahead and get them on BC.  Better safe than sorry.  And yet paradoxically, I can see myself at the same time making them leave the door open.

Just because I have done all I can to make it safe for them doesn't mean I have to encourage them to do it.

It's kind of like pot.  I think pot should be legal.  I don't care if people smoke it.  I think it's harmless.  But I am not going to turn a blind eye to my kids smoking it.  Maybe they will get it and do it where I can't see.  But in my house, I will make it clear that it's not OK.

I think there is something to be said for the parents continuing to give the message, "it is not yet OK for sex".  Otherwise the message is "sex is no big deal, sure do it upstairs while I'm making dinner".  It trivializes what should be a carefully made decision.  [/quote]

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