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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Being blunt should come from another guy – basically a BF/buddy/sibling laying it out “dude, you need to stop X and get your ass in gear”.  If you were to say something like this, it would be taken as mean and hurtful and probably soul crushing.  We can take that from another guy but not from the woman we love – I know it may sound ridiculous to women, but for men, we want our women to put us on that pedestal and we don’t want to be seen or thought of us weak by the DW/GF/SO.  
[/quote]

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that OP's husband doesn't have a lot of guy friends. If he did at one time, I'm going to further guess that they disappeared during the period of time when OP was feeling like the second fiddle.

Or maybe I'm just projecting. Early in my marriage, my wife lacked a certain confidence and, consequently, liked to make sure I spent as much time as possible with her. My hanging out with friends was usually problematic in some fashion. This was amplified when our kids were very tiny. Those things, combined with the normal process of getting older, caused me to sort of lose touch with a lot of my old friends. Now, the kids are a little less dependent, and my wife has matured and gained confidence -- recently, she's been wondering why I don't spend more time with "the guys." Fortunately, I've been developing a circle of friends lately that allows me to get out sometimes. She doesn't really recognize that she at least contributed to the smallish nature of my circle of guy friends. [/quote]

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