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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

While I am an assertive person by nature and will instinctly seek to take the lead, I've come to realize that I only do this when I don't sense another lead present. I let my husband know that if he assumed the lead on things, I would HAPPILY revel in knowing he has things under control. It would be a DREAM to be able to rely on my mate to make sure everything was okay.

Like you, I don't want to be the primary decision maker. Rather than assume I want this role, what my husband doesn't get is that I do it because [b]otherwise nothing would get done[/b].

[/quote]

My wife is a little like this sometimes. But that's because she refuses to accept my analysis that a lot of the shit simply doesn't need doing. We don't need new flower beds. Our old couch will serve for another couple of years. The kids could use some unstructured play time instead of another god damned activity. So, she takes the lead on another set of plans. Then, I lend a hand because I'm not lazy -- I just find a lot of what occupies her attention to be fairly unimportant in the grand scheme of things. 
[/quote]

OP here and this makes me laugh.  We have plenty of these disagreements, but this is one area we've figured out.  If you want new flower beds and I don't give a damn, then you go for it.  If I want to organize the closets and you don't care, I'll tackle the hell out of them myself.  We each just take DC and go do something else so the other one can enjoy the thing they want to do.  It actually works out well.  We realize things like flower beds and organized closets are wants.  We NEED to cook dinner and wash dishes.  We NEED to get DC to bed.  We NEED to do laundry.  [/quote]

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