Reply to DH stole my money

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[quote=Anonymous]People.  All OP did was budget some of the household expense money - a small portion of the marital assets that her husband "allowed" her -- for some savings.  Which she put in a bank account in her own name.  She did not keep the account secret from her husband.  In fact, he had the routing number.  What, exactly is the problem?

To the poster who said that this man may have a blue collar job or a very stressful job, plus the stress of making the money and my job must be a party:  It's not.  It can be stressful.  But it is nice to work with colleagues instead of alone; to enjoy the congeniality of coffee breaks, and to get so intellectually engaged in something that hours just fly by.  I don't think I'm some maverick in some party job because I say this.

I also do more than my share or laundry, dishes, child activities and care, shopping, bill paying and dog-walking.  These tasks are less stressful, but they are much more boring and lonely.  And unlike work outside the home, you never get the satisfaction of a finished product.  It's circular work, and this does make it frustrating -- even stressful -- you work hard cleaning up, and it just gets messy again.  Clean dishes and they are dirty again.  The clean laundry I put away today is in the hamper tomorrow.  Where is the fulfillment in that?  At least I can enjoy the time with the children.  But circular, brainless work kind of sucks.

Some other poster wrote a huge non-sequitur to some phantom man imagined to be the OP, going on about how SAHMs have infantalized themselves.  I think he thought he was on another thread.

Someone else asked,"Isn't she on the mortgage, too?"  Well, yes.  But again, her contribution towards the marital assets is the work she does in the home.  Unless and until she is working outside the home, I do not see why she should be expected to contribute towards household expenses.

Someone said I had given OP terrible, obnoxious advice.  Which I interpret to mean that he didn't think my advice was morally right.  Should OP be interested at this point in being right, or being effective?  Does she want to make more mortgage payments?  If not, I think I gave her some pretty good advice.

Then someone else said it was not effective advice because hiding money in a divorce gets you in trouble and she should't trust anyone else with her money.  Hmmm.  I didn't say to hide the money in the event of a divorce.  I said to keep it hidden during the marriage.  Also, if you can't trust your mom or your dad or your sibling or your BFF to hold some money for you, that's very sad.

All this thread has done is expose the contempt people have for SAHMs.

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