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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]$18 is cheap. This is not a regular party. This is a huge, huge deal, that the child spent MONTHS preparing for, that the parents spent THOUSANDS of dollars on (even for a less expensive bar mitzvah). $18 is an insult and not just fine at all.[/quote]

This is a pretty obnoxious position to take. Yes, this is huge event in the boy's life BUT it is being shared with a very large crowd of people not just the boy's closest friends and family.

Expecting a larger amount of money in return is the same as charging an admissions fee. [/quote]

Then you should turn down the invitation if you felt this way.  This is an important rite-of-passage.  It's not like a birthday party.   A lot of family time and prep goes into it.[/quote]

Pp,-You are very misguided.  I sincerely hope it is only you posting these horrible posts with misplaced values.  I find it hard to believe that a family would not want a family member or friend to attend their child's bar or bat mitzvah if a guest doesn't give the"right"amount of money for a gift.    That is ludicrous.  Are you from New York.  The only people I know who espouse this garbage are from New York.  I feel sorry for your children that they are receiving such a negative and inappropriate message about Jewish life and values from their own mother.  Your posts make me sick.  You, quite frankly are an embarrassment to ask Jews.  [/quote]

I am not misguided.  I know what I am talking about.  And I am most definitely not a single author of these "horrible posts with misplaced values".  I am trying to explain to OP how important this event is - that a lot of family planning, teaching, and expensive party planning has gone into both the religious part of the Bar Mizvah and the party events.  If you are saying that I am misguided about the amount the check should be for a child going to bar/bath mitzbah then Google Bar Mitzvah money and Google changes it to "Bar Mitzvah  gift money calculator"  And many many links pop up.[/quote]

OK, for kicks I just Googled "Bar Mitzvah gift money calculator" and entered in all of the pertinent information we learned from the OP. Based on that, the site calculated a gift of $36.[/quote]

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