Reply to Wives of physicians--dealing with loneliness

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Wives of physicians--dealing with loneliness"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I know this is a really old thread, but I'm not on here often and didn't see it before. Here's what I've found: many/ most (?) people in DC that are working in high-income jobs are from different areas of the country, and don't have family here. Your work circumstances (where everyone is from the area) seems unusual to me. You said you are from CA? There are SO many people from CA here; from the West; from the Northeast; from the Midwest. Do you know any lawyers? Everyone I know is a lawyer, and no one is from here. If you can break into that kind of social circle, you really can develop a built-in family where everyone is on their own. People work long hours but they also love happy hours and cocktail lounges. Spend more time in DC and less in NoVa. Plan a few evenings a week going to a different happy hour. You'll be surprised how many single women in their mid-30s not from DC you'll meet. And how many women love going out here! I envy your free time, and wish I could still spend my evenings at happy hours, restaurants, and embassy events! There are SO many fun things to do.[/quote]

Hi, OP here.  Thanks for your thoughts.  The funny thing is out of the few acquaintances I've made in this area, and out of everyone at my office, I am the only one who didn't grow up here or have a spouse who grew up here.  Those who didn't grow up here grew up close to here (like Philly) or went to school here, so pretty much everyone I have met since moving here has close friends and family in the area.  I don't know anyone who moved here knowing no one, like DH and I did.  This makes it harder I think to meet people and make friends, because everyone already has their circle of friends and is not looking for more.

I don't know how to get into a social circle.  How exactly do you do that when you know no one and there is no one to introduce you to people?  I mean, I have been in a book club for 2 years, attend events at church, attend meetup groups, and have made a couple of acquaintances through these events, but no good friends or anyone to have a deep, meaningful connection with, and certainly no semblance of a social circle and no idea really how to find one.  Besides meetup groups, where do I find these "happy hours"?

The other thing is, happy hours and meeting single gals who want to go out clubbing is not really my thing.  After work, I'm more into domestic hobbies like gardening, crafts, cooking, etc. and the idea of going out to bars/clubs doesn't sound that appealing.  I'd rather find some gals to meet for lunch on the weekends, take a class together, etc. or other married couples without kids to be friends with.[/quote]

Hi OP - yes, looking back at my post, it makes it sound like you have to hop from club to club to meet people. Absolutely not, though! Have you heard of groups like the Young Smithsonian Benefactors? Check them out and see if that group leads you to similar ones. It's a group of "young professionals" who like to go out and meet new people through cultural events. They hold volunteer events, charity events, and occasional parties everywhere from the National Building Museum to various embassies around town. I don't know if this particular group will appeal to you, but I think there are other similar groups around, too. It really stinks that you still haven't run into anyone from outside of the DC area. I, like you, moved here knowing no one, and made most of my friends back in my young and single days at a law firm. Most people I met were in similar circumstances. I wonder if you've asked/ can ask anyone at work about these issues?[/quote]

Hi, OP here.  Thanks for the clarification--I will check out the Young Smithsonian Benefactors--sounds like an interesting group and one that would be very appealing!  The only thing is we live outside the beltway, and if I'm meeting people who all live in DC or closer to the city--that could be difficult in terms of making friends.  It's hard enough to make friends as it is, let alone if the distance is a barrier and someone I'm clicking with doesn't want a friend who lives so far away.  But it's worth looking into.

I don't really want to share these issues with anyone at work.  I've hinted that we moved here knowing no one, and that we don't have anyone to spend holidays with, but that's all I've shared--nothing about being lonely.  I've never even told anyone DH's occupation--I don't like to share that DH is a doctor with people I don't know very well.  While I'm friendly with people at work, no one at work has suggested getting together or ever invited me to do anything.  When we first moved here, a few of DH's colleagues invited us over when he first started his job, but it was just a few invites here and there and those have long since stopped.  My colleagues never showed any interest in getting to know me, unfortunately.  Though I have showed plenty of interest in them.  I always ask people how their weekends were, or what they're up to, and no one asks me.  It makes me feel very sad.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics