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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kudos to them. Lots of happy, healthy families that live by different ways. The Duggars are self-sufficient and likely not as oppressed as posters want to believe they are. Many here can't seem to conceptualize that others may be happy to live differently than they do. Do I want their life - nope! Having grown up in a large family with parents with faith and traditional roles, and knowing what a great life I have had I am not going to assume they can't be having the same.

Many young adults around the world don't move out at 18, that isn't necessarily a sign of anything. It is likely cultural.[/quote]

Sure, the family as it is structured now is self-sufficient, and seemingly happy, but the parents are not equipping their children with the necessary life skills to be similarly self-sufficient.  The children have no means or skills to make life choices for themselves.  No education beyond age 16, no pursuit of outside interests, total dedication to parents and siblings (read - free caregiving for parents).  So what happens when these kids, especially the girls, come of age and want to move out?  Or make some life choices for themselves?  They can't as they have been completely crippled by their parent's choice to raise them in an insular world where they don't have access to education, life skills, or life choices.  To me it borders on child abuse.  The parent's made their choice, but they are not giving their children the same opportunity.  And no, marrying at 20, immediately starting to have children (probably many children) and working in your father's used car lot doesn't constitute making a choice.  It's merely doing what is expected to keep the family structure intact.   Had the eldest boy gone to college, traveled, gained some life experiences outside of his family, then returned to that lifestyle, that would be a different story.  These poor kids don't have a chance.

It seems as though the parents don't trust their children to make good choices, or maintain the values they were raised with.  If they were truly confident in their own beliefs and convictions, they would give their children the tools to experience the outside world and allow them to make mistakes, while trusting that they will make good choices for themselves.  And god forbid one of the the kids is gay.  [/quote]

I agree none of these kids is equipped to go study astronomy at MIT, or even history at Bard. You mention college, but not every family is focused on college, especially outside the DMV bubble. Do you judge every family that doesn't send their kids to college? A college degree isn't required for the many well-paying trades where you do an apprenticeship instead. The guys that paint our house haven't been to college, and the owner of the housepainting business seems to be doing really well.

These kids are equipped to do other things. For example one of them absolutely could, if he wanted, leave the family nest and go sell cars in upstate New York. One of them could become a plumber's or mason's apprentice.  You ask what happens when the girls come of age, but you don't know the answer to that, either. Maybe they'll move to Canada and wait tables. It's not inconceivable. [/quote]

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