Reply to IVF embryo error, custody settlement

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why does everyone here assume the birth family strong-armed the genetic parents? Is there any evidence of that? Does anyone even know if the genetic parents wanted another baby?[/quote]

If you have embryos on ice there is always the chance of another baby. Nobody asked them for permission to use their embryo in the first place. This isn't a finders keepers situation. Do you have any kids of your own? Your detachment from genetic bonds is very odd.[/quote]

This situation is a tragedy with no easy answers. Have you never given birth? Can you even imagine someone ripping away a child you always understood to be yours after carrying the child for nine months, having a traumatic delivery, and nursing the baby? The trauma of someone taking that child from me (exactly why I could NEVER be a surrogate).

Suggesting that the “obvious” or “easy” solution is that the birth parents should “give the baby back” is just absurd. Again, it’s a terrible situation with no easy answers.
Someone will be harmed no matter what decision is made.[/quote]

DP but I think the answer is both obvious and incredibly difficult.  The parents who are keeping this baby are doing the easy but unethical thing.[/quote]

+1 These desperate childless parents wanted a baby by any means possible. They are putting their needs above the child's and that's what is absurd. [/quote]

She carried a baby in her uterus that she genuinely believed was her own until she gave birth. I cannot believe people are blaming the birth mother for the situation.[/quote]

I'm the one who said this is obvious but incredibly difficult.  I don't blame her for the situation.  I do think she's in a terrible situation not of her making, and I still think she's behaving unethically by keeping the child.[/quote]

+1.  I get her desperation, but it’s focused on just this time in the child’s life.  The baby years are short.  This child will be a teenager and an adult wondering about their genetic family and very likely have negative feelings about not being able to be raised by them.

As others have said, it’s a lose-lose situation, but I think the better choice would have been to give the child to their genetic family, assuming that’s what they wanted.[/quote]

The genetic parents have visitation rights and will remain in the child’s life.[/quote]

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