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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]lol OP I’m sorry your ILs don’t care that you hate them. Better luck next time[/quote]

OP here. I don’t hate them, but I certainly don’t appreciate their behavior. They were slightly better after DH was a bit sharp with them when they criticized DD for taking a nap when visitors were there after her sleepover. DH was very direct and made them apologize to DD and apologize to me for acting up so much. They were pleasant about dinner, and I set up the coffee for them tomorrow morning, and MIL made a point to say thank you.

Right now we will continue to see them as usual, but DH and I agree that there will be no more “do us a favor visits” during busy times. Their loss. [/quote]

Their behavior sounds completely normal for two older people. I’m curious what you expect or, for that matter, if you think you’ll be any different at that age! You sound convinced you are all so “busy” that you can’t acknowledge loved ones. I’m sure they notice that and question your priorities. Imagine if it were your own kids telling you one day they are too busy to cook you dinner because of “school and work,” which are everyday occurrences and don’t make you incapable of cooking. Now personally I enjoy leftover lasagna but that’s beside the point [/quote]

They. Told. The. Grandparents. It. Wasn’t. A. Time. They. Could. Fully. Host.

What about that do you not get?

A clean house, clean sheets and towels, plenty of food, even if it wasn’t “preferred” food. Schedules went exactly as planned and conveyed. ILs agreed to visit on the terms clearly stated by OP and DH. And then ILs complained that it wasn’t different.

If they’re that far gone that they can’t understand information and expectations clearly conveyed, they belong in a nursing home. [/quote]

I get exactly what they told the grandparents and that’s why I’m pointing out that you can tell someone whatever you want, and they can notice what that says about you.[/quote]

Right, just like the ILs actions says a lot about them.  High maitenance and selfish.[/quote]

Just remember your kids learn how to treat you, from how you treat your parents and ILs. Not when they are behaving perfectly, but when they are being difficult.[/quote]

Nobody's poor behavior should be tolerated. That's the point. Behaving entitled and cheap is not exactly something to model for your kids/grandkids. [/quote]

well there’s “everybody” and then there’s family, which are two different things.[/quote]

Nope. Enough of this "I can treat my family poorly and they'll have to put up with me". Entitled much? [/quote]

I treat my family fine and am pretty patient with my parents because I want my kids to do the same one day for me. My parents are cheap like most people in their 70s; I accept that. And frankly I do put up with their quirks. Just as I observed them doing with their own parents and in laws. We had a really close and happy upbringing despite grandparents on both sides being occasionally wacky. I’m grateful everyone kept their senses of humor throughout. I do the same. [/quote]

I always cringe at this nonsense that you put up with your parents' weird behavior so that your kids would put up with yours. How do you even come up with that? This sounds abusive. Nope. Your kids will treat you based on YOUR BEHAVIOR. If you go all bonkers, nobody's going to put up with you only because you put up with your crazy parents. Luckily younger generation is also way less conditioned to put up with unhealthy behaviors and entitlement. [/quote]

Let us know how that works out for you. Seems like a lot of people expect to be perfect humans in their golden years, never cranky, lonely, hungry or bored.[/quote]

It's working out great of course! Any person can be cranky, lonely, hungry or bored at any age, but it's not my job to fix that for adults. Kids, sure. Adults, you figure it out yourself. If you're entitled and rude on top of that, good luck next time. Who exactly has to figure out your hunger and boredom? Get a grip. Yep, you'll be lonely soon behaving that way towards your family. [/quote]

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