Reply to Should we cancel our 4th of July party?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you know that no one will attend your party OP??
Have your invited guests cancelled their RSVPs?

Because that would be the only good reason to cancel a party that you have already sent invites for as well as accepted RSVPs for (I am assuming.)

If this friend is truly upset w/you ➕ your husband for not attending her Memorial Day party then she is nuts & you do not want to be friends w/someone who has placed “conditions” on your friendship.
It is very unlikely that she is miffed that you didn’t attend her party - - could she be mad at you for something else perhaps?

OP, do not cancel your party &gt;&gt; unless of course no one can attend.

Good luck![/quote]

I don’t.  I assumed the mutual group would attend hers over mine out of loyalty.  I was catastrophizing a bit.  There’s actually plenty of time to attend both we live 4 miles away from one another and it’s like a 6 hour block of time.

[b]Once this all rolls over I’m going to ask her if we upset her.[/b]  She did invite us so I’ll probably go over to hers for an hour to save face.  [/quote]

I wouldn't. You'd be feeding into her narcissism/queen bee-ism and look like you're groveling to get back into her good graces. See how the parties play out and then move on. You've already apologized for missing her Mem Day party. [/quote]
+1

There is a queen bee in my circle who decided to cut me out of things. I did not mention it to even one mutual friend, so no gossip could be passed on.

My friends were really into her as happens with charismatic narcissists. They talked about her a lot, and I would nod and smile.

I ignored how friends invited the narc over when I was not able to hang out. So then I knew my friends probably know she hates me.

But I play a very long game, and I have never appeared bothered.

My therapist thinks this woman treats me this way because she told me about something horrible that happened to her. I never told anyone beyond my therapist about that, and it is the only thing I can think of. Maybe she regretted telling me.

So, OP, I would consider this woman in your world may have some big issue that gets taken out on you but is not your fault.

And, eventually, people see narcs for what they are.

[/quote]

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