Reply to S/O Why can’t moms just chill and be nice?

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Reply to "S/O Why can’t moms just chill and be nice?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not everyone is nice. They just aren't.

If you have a pattern of being the victim of bullies, it might make sense to look into why. You might need to improve your social skills. [/quote]

Wow.

The only time I went through this stuff as an adult was at a specific company where I worked. It was horrific. I didn't even get the worse of it, another woman did. But no. It was those people, in a setting which allowed and implicitly encouraged it.

I think social skills can help with kids and teens--I was both shy and anxious and bullied. But most of the actual bullying was between 7th and 9th grade. Later I was more just isolated (although I did stay active in extracurriculars, Girl Scouts, church youth activities, so I had kind of a life, and I made one good friend my last couple years of h.s.).

Don't make being bullied the fault of the people who are mistreated. [/quote]

People love to punch down - as evidenced by this thread. I’d be willing to bet that a lot of these posters insisting bullying doesn’t happen and is just a mental production of people who are insecure/paranoid are themselves bullies. [/quote]

I read those posts and wish they would get a taste of this behavior they are so in denial of. Then I remember, for most of my life I would have also been dismissive of those comments. I think beyond not experiencing it, I wanted to feel like we were collectively above that lowly behavior. Then I experienced it so maybe it was something karmic and with maturity, I am not so doubting of the dilemmas and complaints of other people's experiences. Maybe I didnt want it to be true but I was fooling myself.[/quote]

Interesting. I've never understood the people who rush in to deny what the op is describing in their post. Most of us know this happens and it isn't just in suburban neighborhoods. It is so common. I think women get a lot of pressure to "bright side" things as if you get brownie points for trying to enforce the belief that life is all puppies, kittens, and rainbows. It isn't and people need help dealing with it. It's horrible to be unsympathetic to people who experience this. [/quote]

Agreed. Some of the comments in this thread are just straight up gaslighting. Just denying people's experiences as misunderstandings or oversensitivity. That's what bullies say! "It was a joke, don't be so sensitive." This is how bullies behave.[/quote]

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