Reply to Should we cancel our 4th of July party?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I haven’t read all the responses yet but I did reach out.

First I tried to call, no answer.  Then I texted

“Hey! I just saw the invite for your 4th of July party and wanted to check in. I wasn’t sure if you remembered that we’re hosting ours that afternoon too, since you’d RSVP’d a while back. I figured I’d reach out in case there was some mix-up with dates or times”

I got a response within a minute.

“No, no mix up.”

So clearly she’s upset and I was talking to my husband all night to see if either of us did anything else to make her angry.  I am going to ask her point blank but feel like some space is needed.

But if she’s that angry, why would she still invite us?

Regardless we both feel like she’s angry we didn’t attend her Memorial Day party which seems a little silly.

But to answer other questions.

- We do have friends outside of this social group.  But the majority of our friends are mutual.  Again, we’ve been here for two years and because we all have similar aged children who are friends we see each other more often.

- I cannot think of anything else my husband, myself or my children did to upset her but I may ask.

- I guess I like drama as much as anyone would.  I like reality tv.  I like gossip to an extent.  I truly don’t like being involved in drama, or at the very least the cause or making anyone angry.   [/quote]

The fact that she said "no, mix up" without any sort of further explanation indicates that she is somehow mad at you for something. I had something similar happen to me a few years ago, and the woman is in-fact a toxic queen bee type. If anything, I would just reply that you may not be able to make it since you are hosting, but that [b]you hope she is still able to stop by[/b]. You mentioned that she already RSVPed yes. Women like this love to create drama and establish their dominance. It sounds like you have an enmeshed social circle in your new town, and I would strongly recommend that you branch out for new friends. For some reason, the queen bee of your friend group is pissed at you, and is going to start icing you out. Most likely it's because you dared to have a social life not involving her, and skipped her Memorial Day party. Yes, you were still invited to this event, maybe so she can make sure that you know she is hosting a party the same day as you, but little by little the invites to events will decrease, and this woman will create new group text strings (perhaps innocuously) or start texting on strings that you are not on. You can ask her what you did to upset her, but asking directly, usually results in a queen bee saying "Nothing at all! What do you mean??"[/quote]

I'm not sure if OP actually wants that woman at her party now - so don't be disingenuous. Just say that you won't be able to attend her party. [/quote]

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