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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP has abortion regret. It’s one thing to break up with someone and envy the new person after they’ve moved on into a happy marriage relatively quickly. But add aborting a child (for a totally frivolous reason, at that) into the mix and the pain is amplified by an order of magnitude.

Name your pain, OP, and own it. Repent for what you did. God forgives.[/quote]

Please don't project your own beliefs on others. OP did not have an abortion for frivolous reasons, she had an abortion because she reasonably believed (accurately or mistakenly) that her partner wasn't supportive of continuing the pregnancy.  Maybe it was a communication mixup and if so, that would be regrettable, but it's just as likely that OP read the situation accurately and made the right choice.

OP is in a damned if you do damned if you don't position.  She could have had the baby and raised it with a dysfunctional parent, which is not exactly the kindness to the child you project.  DCs have grown up with a narcissistic, on again/off again father, who as they grew older and had their own solo experiences with him, they came to see as unreliable and not out for their best interests. They've also grown up much poorer than they would have otherwise. Thank god I had supportive family of origin, if not mental health and other health and educational expenses really would have sunk us.  Knowing that I had family of origin support was what even allowed me to keep my unexpected pregnancy (which my then fiance very much said he wanted prior to the pregnancy and when actually asked to participate in the decision to continue or not continue the pregnancy).

I love my kids and they were both great, but in retrospect, I should not have even broached the topic of continuing the pregnancy with my fiance. It was unplanned, and it was a disservice to everyone to continue something unplanned. People probably think, how horrible that you would say you don't want your children, but I think of it as perhaps I could have had my children with a more stable partner and given them a better life.

OP, we all have regrets in life.  Focus on what is in your control and what you can do to create the kind of life you want. You will have other opportunities to have children if you focus on your career and building positive social relationships. [/quote]
You did all this yapping from the comfortable ivory tower of having kept both of your children, whom you love and are alive and well today. OP doesn’t have that privilege. Who’s projecting here?[/quote]

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