Reply to DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know if OP's daughter was being mean or not - [b]telling someone they can't sit next to you because you are saving a seat for friends but can sit at your table is a gray area.[/b]  It's definitely not nice or welcoming.  However, I would think that it would be more appropriate for this mom to help her daughter address it than to confront OP's child directly.  This is the sort of problem that 9 year old kids can learn to handle and address, and it isn't helping the kid.  [/quote]

OP again.

I guess I wasn't clear, DD wasn't "saving" the seat.  The other children were already in the seats, including the other woman's DD.  The other child wanted to "switch" seats with one of the girls and DD said "No, she always sits there."  I agree this wasn't the nicest thing to say, and it could have been handled better, but like other PP have mentioned our school doesn't allow "seat saving".  They line up in class and sit in that order by gender, but I suppose they are allowed to switch if they wish too.[/quote]

OP I'm sorry for the gang bang on you here.  This sounds like perfectly normal 9yo girl behavior and certainly nothing that would warrant a parent saying something to her entirely out of context.  But I hope you didn't flip out or go tell the school.  I would really encourage you to talk the other mother first without making it a huge deal and just ask her to come speak to you first in the future.  If it were to become a recurring issue - her pulling your daughter aside - then I would mention it to the school.  Chalk it up to a misguided fellow parent and try to let it go.  And definitely do not bad mouth the other mom in front of your DD.  I'm sure you know all this, and I get why you were heated in your original post.  I would have been heated too at first and then come to a sensible solution, as I'm sure you did.[/quote]

No, I haven't called anyone, I wanted to know if this was acceptable behavior from the volunteer parent.  I see that it is not, which I suspected.  I just don't like the idea of a parent trying to take on the teacher role, she is not the teacher, and in my opinion had no business confronting my daughter.  I agree if she had seen DD do something dangerous, or actually see DD exhibit "bully" behavior than I wouldn't be so upset.  I guess I'm just wondering where the line is drawn with this woman?  If her DD want my DD to share her lunch, and DD doesn't oblige will she go call out my daughter for not sharing?  [/quote]

BAD ADVICE.  Do not go to the other mother.  This will make things worse and she sounds crazy enough that she'll probably go off on you.  This should be handled by school officials only. Parents stay the h*ll out of it.  If you ever have a particular problem with a particular child go the official route through the school- do not become the vigile ante on the playground, etc. Kids often do not relay the story in 100% accuracy.  If parents seem worked up-- they often go with it and embelish it.  Some kids flat out lie as well--they may have been the ones to start something but cover their ass irst by going home and blaming it on somebody else.  Not daying that any of that went on here---but it happens all of the time.  This is still such a minor issue in my eyes taht if it happened to my own son I would have counseled him what to do on his own.  If things got worse, etc a quick email to the teacher to check into it would suffice...but 99...9% of the time this can be handled with no parental involvement.[/quote]

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