Reply to I thought I'd made a new friend, but I guess I did not. Middle-age is rough.

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "I thought I'd made a new friend, but I guess I did not. Middle-age is rough."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is so the story of my life. I met a woman at the school who seemed like she really liked me. We worked together intensively on a volunteer project and then another one.
It then became clear that she acts like that to EVERYONE especially if she thinks you’ll be helpful somehow.
Like “do you have plans for spring break?” And she is super vague… turns out she’s going to London! I feel like a friend would want to talk about that. Or then she announced that she wouldn’t be meeting me at the gym anymore because she got a job. Never talked about the job hunting process or anything related to the job, or why she wanted it in the first place (her husband makes $$$$).
Just a lack of being real.[/quote]

That is not a lack of being real.  You could be talking about me, [b]I don't like to discuss trips in detail with people.  I'm sometimes afraid it comes across like bragging[/b]--and some places I've been to so many times for work or whatever they don't even strike me as particularly interesting.

My job hunting isn't something I discuss with anyone except DH.  He makes $$$$, and that is not pertinent to my career.  Not everyone discusses every little detail of their lives with everyone around them.
[/quote]

If you did mention your trips you'd get slammed on DCUM for being a travel snob and people would absolutely dog you for bragging.

Also, job hunting is stressful and people don't necessarily want to talk about it with people in case it doesn't go the way they want. I'm currently up for promotion to partner and I haven't told anyone. [/quote]

But the thing is, if someone is a close friend like I thought we were you don’t have to worry about that. I would tell a close friend how excited I am to travel to wherever and not worry about sounding like I’m bragging because we have that history. Same with a job hunt, or a health scare— you share these things with a close friend. Of course not with some random mom you barely know.
If a woman gives off signals that you are intimate friends but then it never translates to that vulnerability I feel cheated, like she just wanted to use my skills for her project. And I’m not the first one she’s acted like this with.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics