Reply to Crazy shit my mom says

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Crazy shit my mom says"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]More from my Gram, now 89. My cousin is a lesbian and came out to our family probably about 15 years ago. My Gram is Catholic and despite her love of all things "raunchy" she's very judgmental, but she didn't bat an eye and just told her how much she loves her and just wants her to be happy. The truth is, nothing could make her happier because it has provided her with an endless source of dirty jokes and innuendos over the  years. For example, we were out to eat and my grandma ordered a hot sausage sandwich. It arrived and let's just say it looked a little bit "perky" sticking up out of the bun. So the server accidentally puts it in front of my cousin, and we all start giggling and my cousin says "Um, I think they have given this to the wrong person" and then my gram does not miss a beat and says "I bet you've never been this close to one of THOSE before!" Then cousin pushes it in front of Gram and says "I think this is yours." Gram says "well, I'm not a lesbian, but I'm a widow so I'm retired" and pushes the thing toward me and says "___ likes these, obviously" (I'm 8 months pregnant at the time) So I push it back at her and say "I'm a vegetarian and I'm offended by this thing!" and my cousin says "Thats' what I"M saying!" and my gram says "That's what we all, say, honey".  The server just backs away from our table slowly, which is a good thing, because we wanted our picture with the sausage. Still have that photo in a frame in my home office. My children are not old enough to understand that, given their lone lineage of twisted and stupid humor, they're completely doomed. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics