Reply to How to Deal with an Angry Sibling re: Elderly Parents

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[quote=Anonymous]You sound like the family scapegoat? We usually move far away, cough. We are told things last minute and are expected to drop everything because we are not respected as being real people by our family members. We're cardboard cutouts to yell and fume at. There is an underlying resentment of us for many, many reasons -- including the fact that we somehow managed to escape. Now for the kicker: They wanted us to be the full-time caretaker, not live a life. That was the plan all along, but we didn't get the hint. We dared to flee and live free. Now they will play mind games with us and pull power trips like your brother is doing. I encountered the same behaviors from a resentful sibling. I couldn't do enough but my sibling refused to tell me how I could help, there was never any direction, then they would use the silent treatment as punishment and get in touch last minute, why aren't you here? But nobody told me there was a problem. I had a spouse and small children and couldn't just leave on a dime, but that doesn't count when you're the scapegoat. My young adult nieces and nephews were treated with a lot more respect. When each parent passed, it fell to in-laws to let me know. No blood relative called me. It was another way to punish me as the family scapegoat. Go watch videos from Jerry Wise and The Scapegoat Club and see if you spot the pattern of abuse. And it is a pattern.[/quote]

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