Reply to How to Deal with an Angry Sibling re: Elderly Parents

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I have a brother just like yours, except my mom doesn't expect much from him because he's pretty irresponsible.

What your brother wants is to use you as a punching bag. He doesn't want to deal with you at all, except when he gets stressed he takes it out on you by creating a story in which you are the villain. He doesn't actually want help because, if he did, he would keep you in the loop. People acting like you are expecting too much are ridiculous. If he can plan an entire vacation he can take 90 seconds to text OP and say, hey, I need you here as back up when our family goes out of town in 6 months. These are the dates were looking at. Let's talk logistics this weekend.

If your parents are enabling this behavior by him, f- them.

In my situation, my mom, although not a great mom and never really available to help me with anything as a child or an adult, is respectful of my time and appreciative of what I do. My brother and I don't speak because he is verbally abusive and says all of my boundaries with him are me "being in denial" and "unable to handle confrontation". Of course, his idea of "confrontation" is screaming and using obscenities while the other person is supposed to just listen and be calm. Right now mom can still manage most of her own affairs, but it's going to get ugly when she can't.

I don't know what you should do. But it certainly doesn't sound like you are getting anything out of the relationship with anyone.[/quote]

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