Reply to Tension with Wife's Family over Finances

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why is your wife signing up for degrees that are low-paid? Usually when you're good enough, you can get a scholarship for a grad degree. You married someone who is not as smart/ambitious/capable as your side of the family. A mistake. It takes special skill to blow 200K on an OOS and end up with nothing. I also agree that instead of taking your frustrations out on the FIL, who seems a blue-collar guy who built himself up, you should look at your wife. Seems like a dud. [/quote]

People make bad decisions when they have a backstop.  Perhaps Dad didn't want to waste money on a worthless degree, especially if he's blue-collar rich.  He wanted utility, so he gave her a loan instead to make her feel like she had skin in the game and was making utilitarian choices about her degree.  My dad is blue-collar rich and was happy to pay for law or medical school, but not a degree in French Literature.  Maybe OP should have put his foot down, too?  It sounds like she's wasting marital money on another useless degree.  I could be wrong - it just sounds that way. [/quote]

Gosh actually the more you guys put it this way, FIL sounds pretty spineless and wishy-washy.  Instead of just telling DD No or telling her she was limited to whatever was in her college fund and nothing more, he invented this parent loan game BUT didn't do anything to formalize it.  If you truly want your kids to have "skin in the game" you need to set it up upfront, not just hope they or their wealthy spouse will pay it back later.  He got played.[/quote]

I'm the PP, and I agree with you.  My parents sat us down and said, "we will pay for all of your schooling if you sell us on your course of study and you promise to excel."  We actually had to present a kind of business proposal to them in high school with where we wanted to go to school and what minimum GPA we should be required to maintain.  [/quote]

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