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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Ex Can’t Do School Logistics Anymore — Advice?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends. I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes. [/quote] How is that good? She gets the easy part where she doesn’t have to deal with school or activities. He should take weekdays and she take weekends as she doesn’t want to do school, and have the kids go to school near him. They are younger so changing schools at least for next year is fine. [/quote] Changing school for kids is tough. Why would you send them off to live near a flaky dad who impregnated his affair partner who is going to have a newborn to take care of soon? Those kids are going to get neglected. And weekdays are much easier for any parent because they’re in school for most of their waking hours. Weekends you actually spend time with your kids. [/quote] You need to stop making up stuff. He isn't flaky. He is working to pay child support, a house for himself and the kids and the kids needs in his home. If he takes a job for 5-6 hours a day to do the commute, is OP ok with less money? He is doing the bulk of the work driving them back and forth and having them 3 school days a week and some weekends. OP is lazy. Kids change schools all the time. If they are with him three school days a week it makes sense when they aren't allowed to be at mom's those three days and as teens they may need more flexiblity and have to go back and forth to school twice for activities/sports and need a landing zone between those times. She is the lazy one not wiling to care for her kids before and after school so he can work. Its not like he's out partying.[/quote] Moving a half hour away and switching your work schedule and having a newborn on the way when you know you are responsible for getting small children to a school 3x/week and you don’t have a plan is the definition of flaky (and it’s also short-sighted and acting not in the best interests of the children and showing poor executive functioning and planning skills).[/quote] People move. And, he may not have been able to afford a house in the area, given she got the house, child support and who knows what else. He is caring for his kids. As co-parents, you work together for the kids' sake. If he has them three days a week, and she two, kids should go to school at his house. They can adjust the child support to reflect the new child care needs.[/quote] Absolutely not, because he has a track record of putting himself over the kids’ needs. If they changed schools to be closer to him, the next thing you know, he will want to move someplace else because the AP insists on a bigger house. [/quote] He is working. He also needs bedrooms for the kids. We don't know the full story and you are making one up. Either way, if its during work hours, its an issue. The best solution is for OP to help him the rest of the school year and move the kids to his local school where he can get child care more easily. He has them more during the week. He is taking care of his kids. She is refusing.[/quote] WTF why do you think OP’s job is to “help” this man who was perfectly able to help himself to an entirely new family … Granted we don’t know the exact neighborhoods, but there are almost always more affordable rental options. Two kids in a bedroom and the baby in the parents room. This is the dad’s responsibility not the mom’s. He can readjust his work schedule, get his new wife to help, or pay for before/aftercare. Or he can formally acknowledge the increased custody time to OP and pay more child support. The day he decided to walk out on OP and their kids is the day he completely lost the entitlement to OP’s “help” beyond that which is strictly necessary. This isn’t an emergency where the kids need OP to step in. It is their dad’s decision to prioritize himself and not his kids. OP owes him zero in this scenario. [/quote]
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