Reply to Is it normal not to love your elderly parent who is not abusive or mean?

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Reply to "Is it normal not to love your elderly parent who is not abusive or mean?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I sort of get the comment from the pps about it not being appropriate for a parent to trauma dump on their adult child.   I think the level of closeness should really grow organically from the level of closeness the two have had in the past.   In my case, my mother is a gas lighter who thinks she knows best and is all to happy to dispense unsolicited advice even when told not to.  If I said I was sad about x, the response was often something like “you shouldn’t be sad about x” or “youre too sensitive”.  This was the dynamic since I was a kid.  My mom has gotten better over the years, but even so, I have very little interest in being her therapist or even her distant friend when she tries to tell me about her feelings about things.   Find someone else.     [/quote]

I have a very similar experience and relationship with my mom.  She has been dumping on me about my dad since she was a kid.  She also dumps about other relatives, which bothers me less.  But it's completely inappropriate to vent to your kids about certain things- like other members of your family- when your kids have a relationship about those people.  It's the same as venting in a friend group- it's not appropriate to talk behind other people's backs.  This just seems basic to me.[/quote]

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