Reply to Freshman is really unhappy, how typical is this?

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[quote=Anonymous]My daughter transferred and it was 100% the right choice for her.  She knew from the first week that the school was the wrong choice (she was bullied badly by her suitemates).  It turns out that all of her friends (she made a few and actually had fun second semester) transferred as well. She is so happy at her new school an it’s a better school with better opportunities and shade a very close and fun friend group.

That said, transferring is not magic.  You have to do the acclimation all over again and make friends all over.  You have to really want it to succeed.  Mine transferred after freshman year, which I would recommend if possible because why make something work that is not likely to work?  Why waste time?

I would recommend she apply for transfers and make a decision in late spring/early summer.  Maybe she will decide she likes her current school or maybe not.  This gives her options.

I explained to my daughter that she realistically could only transfer once so she had to make sure it was the right decision.  TBH, I feel like she kind of got lucky with her transfer.  She was truthfully focusing too much on prestige and it could have gone very wrong.  She has had tough times at her new schools (similar club experiences, one tough semester grade wise, etc) and it was not until her second and third semester at the new school she started to love it.  So make sure she understands it is not a magic pill.  She still has to do the work.  For example, her first semester, she called me sad and we actually created a plan for making friends with goals and deliverables, etc.  sounds silly, but it gave her something to focus on and got her out there meeting people. It was the beginning of a turn around.  She was too depressed at her old school and could never have done that.

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